the grass is greener on the other side

ive been doing this thing where i say "yes" to life...i know i know, i might have stolen it from the movie yesman, but hey he's got a point.  i mean im not saying yes to everything...but a lot more than usual.

after new experiences and responsibilities ive been able to really dig deep and realize who i am, was, and are.  I realize how a person can change and grow as i experience this for myself.  i feel like ive been living behind a veil that has been suddenly been blown open by a gust of wind that i wasn't expecting.  I don't think the veil has been completely lifted, but just enough has been viewed to understand the meaning of life, relationships, and the real world in more depth.

i realize now how much ive been thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, always wanting what i cant have.  well be careful what you wish for because you might just get it (quote thanks to the pussycat dolls) and it might not be what i wanted at all.

i was recently looking back through the many facebook pictures ive been tagged in, you know those ones you didn't take, those pictures you didn't even know were taken.  I had such a good college experience.  While there were so many ups and downs to college, I can look upon them now as the moments that lead me to where i am and who i am today. I'm going back to Boise in 4 days and I am so excited to be with all my old friends, I never thought i'd miss it this much.

<3 t

Fabulousness

Another blog led me to Elle.com and Khloe Kardashian Odom's closet.  Wow. It's fabulous, those shoes are beautiful!

I find myself struggling between wanting a normal, average life...falling in love with a blue collar boy, living in the suburbs,making it work, and being happy.  But then I can see myself doing something very non average and become an actress (the secret i never tell anyone), or a writer, or some other cool job, traveling the world, spending time in the deepest corners of the earth, buying some louboutin shoes, meeting a tall dark handsome foreign beauty, and living this fabulous life no one else gets to live.  To dream right? I think I will be trying to do both..whichever path I go down I think, I hope it has aspects from  both.  Maybe one day I will be vacuuming in my louboutins.

got my head up in the clouds

<3 T

Fresh Faced For Spring

I got the most amazing facial off LivingSocial.com at Ruth's Skin Care in West Hollywood last week and my skin feels and looks amazing.  When my skin looks and feels good I have so much more confidence, when it doesn't I want to hide under the covers and hide from the world.  I highly recommend Living Social, I have gotten some really awesome deals off of it!

It's April and so far April has been good to me.  I received a very nice tax return, found out when I get my braces off (9 weeks), and found a roommate for May and June.  Now if only it continues to be a great month I will be a very happy girl, lots of big things coming up and hopefully the sunshine continues.

I've been cooking a lot more.  I'm currently borrowing my mother's food processor and have been creating some wonderful dishes and some T.A.M. food as well.  I want to bake a spring cake for Easter; it will be the first Easter I have been home for in 5 years!

Let the sun shine on you :)
T

Tracy Anderson Method

Got a bit off track with this blog..I tried to start a tumblr where I posted a picture every day of the year, but once I missed a day I was mad that i wasn't going to have every day and then I started skipping more and it kind of fell apart.

So looking back at my last post I can see how unhappy I was with my body and so uncomfortable in my own skin. So I went through the holidays and Hawaii pretty fat and happy.  Really I was kind of happy, I knew I was heavy, but I was content with the knowledge of it and knew I wasn't really trying to diet or workout as much.  I mean I'm sad I wasn't skinny for Hawaii but oh well..it was three months ago and I ate deliciously and had a blast while I was there.  So when I got back from Hawaii I decided that I needed to keep the new years resolution of getting back to the weight I was when I was done with gymnastics.

I started with my usual routine and diet, but only lost a few pounds.  Then I discovered Tracy Anderson's new dvd workout Metamorphasis.  I blame Gywneth Paltrow and her glee appearances for peaking my interest, but hey I'm so glad I found it.  I'm currently on day 16 of my hipcentric TAM and already down to 132, the number I weighted out at the end of gym last summer.  It's a 90+ day workout where your workout changes every 10 days and it is hard! I am going to be bikini ready and I am working for it!

Yesterday, I ran the Santa Monica stairs down and up 5 times! And this morning I cannot walk, ouchies! But it feels good. I'm not following Tracy's diet, just eating healthy, but now that I have time to go tothe grocery store and my moms food processor I am going to try to eat some of the food on the diet.  Anyways, its a beautiful day here and I want to lay out by the pool and read my book in my bikini and get some sun :)

When my roommate left, I was feeling really lonely, insecure, and strange.  This big city felt so unfamiliar and scary, like I didn't belong and I was really homesick for Boise. But then I found out my best friend from highschool moved close by, the sun started coming out, and I might have a new roommate soon and everything is starting to feel right again in LA.

<3

when did that happen?

ever wake up one day and feel like you're in the wrong body.  like this past week ive noticed the bulges on the sides of my back and the slight softness in my belly.  a serious what the hell moment.  because that is the last place my fat goes. i worked out twice today, mainly because i had lunch with my grandma and we had mexican, but still what the hell, where did that come from!
its so freaking easy to gain weight and so effing hard to lose it.
im going to hawaii in 3 weeks, so the double workout thing might just continue....

effffff

growing up

when you are little you are taught to trust grown ups.  that they know more than you, that what they do is right, and that you should be like them.  parents, teachers, family, friends.  but there comes a time when you realize that they are not perfect.  that they make mistakes.  that they can be very, very wrong.

the only lesson i can really take away when i realize someone i once believed in so much is completely different in reality than what i thought in my head, is that as i grow up...i must stay humble.  i must admit to my mistakes, admit to being selfish and stubborn when i am.  i am headstrong i know, but i feel that my intentions are always for the best.  i want to be the best version of myself and i feel that can only happen once i acknowledge my mistakes.

there was a bitter time in my life. and after everything that has happened, i really try to be optimistic.  i hate being around negative people.

i don't know where i'm going with this. i guess i've just realized truly how many people there are in this world...

i guess if someone were to describe me, i would hope they say that i was:
kind
ambitious
creative
sensitive
loyal
smart
honest
and a hopeless romantic ;)

"Strip Me"

My new favorite song of the moment is Natasha Bedingfield's "Strip Me".  It's become an anthem I scream/sing in the car on the way to work.  I think it's also the song they used in the preview of the new Rachel McAdams movie coming out...I'm having a brainfart on what the title is.  Anyways, lots of new music to look forward to.  The new Sugarland album is awesome. Jennifer Nettles is one of my favorite voices of all time.  Taylor Swift, Reba, and Rascal Flatts all have new albums coming out as well that I am very excited about.  
Happy Friday, I leave you with the chorus of "Strip Me" :)


"Take what you want 
Steal my pride 
Build me up 
Or cut me down to size 
Shut me out 
But I'll just scream 
Im only one voice in a million 
but you aint taking that from me 
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me."

<3 T